Can someone answer this?

People ume I bought a Filipino wife and I like feel like everyone thinks I’m weird. The only way I can deal with this is by drinking alcohol and pestering people. I suppose it’s fair to say my personality splits when I drink. It just takes my mind off my situation and eases the pressure of being different. When I drink I become hyperactive and impulsively create problems for others. As a result of this I think I may have ruined someone’s life. Should I be ashamed or is this natural?